During the second half of 2017, I hit a psychological wall. Not suddenly, it had been building for a while. I’d lost interest in almost everything outside of my family. At work, everything was going fine, but I was on autopilot. I was struggling to understand what was going on. I no longer wanted to socialise, go to car shows, build cars, make photographs, paint or cycle – all things that had been a massive part of my life up until then. Was it burn out? Mid-life crisis? All I knew was that I felt sad and unable to find joy in any of my interests.
Having free days, for three weeks, has allowed me to appreciate the the enjoyment of not being beholden to a schedule. Not having to think about when the next Zoom call is lifts a massive weight from my mind.
What if I didn’t return to work next week, could I cope with the situation? Would I be able to handle not working and what might happen if I took the decision to pause for longer?
Stuffing frustrates me. Not the kind that accompanies a roast dinner, I appreciate that kind and can devour it quite easily. No, it’s the other kind of stuffing that really irks me.